Picking your bridesmaids can be either be the most fun and easiest part of planning or the absolute worst. I’m grateful that when my time comes, I have a built in MOH in my sister but I know that even when brides-to-be have a sister, that choice isn’t always the easiest. So in this post, I’m going to give you a few tips to pick your bridesmaids and a few ways to make it easier to tell others you haven’t picked them. I know this will vary based on your own situations, just take what applies to you and adjust it to your own friends and family.
I’m taking this straight from my Momma’s mouth so you know this is a pretty great piece of advice. She (and I) recommend choosing your family members first because they are the most likely ones to be in your lives longer. Start with sisters, sisters-in-laws, cousins, nieces, etc. I suggest choosing those you are actually closest to and not just choosing everyone.
Personally: My sister will be my Matron of Honor, and one of my girl 4 cousins will be my other family member. I already have one sister-in-law and imagine my future husband may have sisters too, so they will be considered as well!
Choosing your friends
Even if you do have sisters, you most likely have many close girlfriends as well. Some of these ladies may have been in your life for many years and some are recent additions. So how do you choose? My recommendation is to think through who you confide in most often and who do you talk to on a regular basis. Also, consider who has been part of your relationship with your fiance. There may be a lot of girls you want to celebrate with you during this time and I think it is totally fine to invite them all to an engagement party or your bachelorette weekend, but they don’t all have to stand up with you on that day.
Personally: I have one friend that has been my BFF since we were born and she will definitely be a bridesmaid, but we have 2 other girls that make up our foursome. When they were all getting married, we basically agreed that we were all OK not being in each others weddings and doing 2/2 but everyone was still invited to all the parties and acted as greeters at the wedding. It helped keep the bridal party from getting too big and everyone still got to celebrate the brides.
There’s no right or wrong number of bridesmaids you should have. If you only want one, just have one! I’ve seen brides who only have family stand and friends sit as honorary. Others have everyone they want standing and others just have one Maid of Honor. This is your wedding and I recommend asking exactly who you want! Also – did you know you don’t have to have the same amount of bridesmaids as you do groomsmen? More of one or the other works just as well.
Why have bridesmaids at all?
The history of having bridesmaids goes wayyy back to mythology (I’m not sure if it’s Greek or Roman) and to the time when marriages were arranged. If I remember correctly, there was one god who got gypped in the love department and didn’t want others to get married. Several girls dressed in white with veils would walk down the aisle as to confuse the god. Since it was an arranged marriage, the groom wouldn’t know either until the last minute. Nowadays, the bride is typically the only one in white (although the white maid trend is coming back!), and the groom knows who he is marrying. I think you should choose the girlfriends and family members who will encourage and speak into your marriages. Those who will support you in the good and the bad times. The one thing you don’t want to happen (sometimes you can prevent it though) is choosing someone you don’t trust but feel like you have to out of obligation.
If you need help working through any of this, send me an email and I can help – firstname.lastname@example.org
Photo by: Charlie & Morgan Photography