So you’re trying to plan a wedding, but the overwhelm is settling in right? That’s okay! You’re not alone and I’ve got 3 tips to help you get your wedding planning back on the easy path.
My short answer for “how do I plan a wedding stress free?” is to hire a wedding planner! Okay okay, obviously I would say that since I am a wedding planner. However, even with a wedding planner, overwhelm can creep in for someone involved in your wedding day. So how do you stay organized and plan a stress free wedding? Try these three things today!
How to include your fiancé when you plan a wedding
We typically think our fiance wants to know all of the details about the wedding, but they usually don’t. It’s not that they don’t care about the wedding, it’s just that they don’t think about it quite as much as we do..usually. There are definitely exceptions to this rule. The best and first thing to do here is to ask your fiancé how much he wants to be involved.
I talk about this a little in the post on “what to do before you get engaged” (or shortly after), but ask him what his top priorities are – it could be the band or the food or the venue. His answer might surprise you. Here are a few other questions to ask
- Do you want to know about every decision I have to make for the wedding?
- What areas of the wedding day do you have an opinion about? I want to make sure to make those a priority and include you in those decisions. (colors, food, florals, tuxes, music, etc)
- Will you be honest with me about the parts you do and don’t care about?
- I may talk about the wedding everyday, will you kindly let me know if it overwhelms you?
Having clear communication and even boundaries around wedding planning will set you up for a smooth engagement season and I hear it does wonders in your marriage too!
Pro-tip: you can use similar questions with your family members and friends. This allows you to talk about the wedding with them while being respectful of their time and what’s going on in their lives too. Check out this post on having great relationships with your bridesmaids.
Pick a day for all things wedding planning
Whether your fiancé wants to be super involved or not, I highly recommend picking 1-2 days a week to focus on wedding planning. Some weeks it will be a lot of checking things off the list and other weeks it will be just checking emails to make sure everything is on track. Also pick 1-2 days a month to have a “planning date” with your fiancé. Bring all the questions you have for him or any updates to share with him to the table that night. Make it fun and not just running through a checklist. Although I do love a good checklist, so have it handy to mark things off for sure.
You can definitely talk about the wedding anytime you’re together, but if you or your fiance tend to get anxious, heated, or frustrated during these conversations, having a specific day to get in the right mindset is super helpful. Remember you’re on the same team and will be married to this person at the end of all the planning, so keep that in mind! I also recommend other regular date nights that don’t focus on wedding planning to avoid the overwhelm.
Pro-tip: Several couples I know have a set date night every week and they do whatever they can to not re-schedule it. I love this so much because one, I love an organized calendar and two, it keeps your relationship as a priority every week. My parents had the first Friday of every month as a date night and another one of my friends’ parents went out every Friday. It’s worth it y’all (even those with kids – do a swap with another couple who has kids if you don’t want to pay a baby sitter).
Create an email address just for wedding planning
Having a separate email that is just for wedding planning is a great way to relieve the stress that comes from wedding planning. You can use this email to contact vendors and then only check it when you want to. Now, don’t leave your vendors hanging if they are waiting on a time-sensitive response from you. If you’ve got a busy week at work or school, you can reply to the emails when you have a moment to make the decisions or on your weekly wedding planning day.
If wedding planning is stressing you out big time, I would not recommend having this email on your phone, or at least don’t get notifications pinging you all the time! You can also sync this separate email and calendar with each of your phones so you don’t miss important due dates or events. (I am truly looking forward to the day I can sync my color-coded calendar with someone – hahah!)
Pro-tip: I always offer my brides the option to fully opt-out of receiving vendor emails at 6-8 weeks out from their wedding. I send an email to all the vendors and let them know whether or not to contact both the bride and myself or just me on any emails moving forward. Then I relay any questions or details to the bride as needed.
Hopefully these tips were helpful for you! I’d love to know in the comments below if you’re going to try these out. If you want more wedding planning tips, drop your email below.